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kevin loMOTTimized zombie
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm Posts: 1933 Location: Californuts
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Finding this CD at Rasputin's reminded me of the Velvet Underground lawsuit against the Warhol Foundation over the rights of the banana. I found the CD in the Doobie Brothers bin. At first I thought it was a bootleg and then figured out it was a couple of Humbolt County's finest putting this disc out. I think if the Doobie Brothers wanted to take legal action against this duo they would have a pretty strong case to change the name of the CD title. 
_________________ I am not rich, but I know how to die without regrets.
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| Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 pm |
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kevin loMOTTimized zombie
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm Posts: 1933 Location: Californuts
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Russian tourists try to break Florida law having sex with porcupineTwo Russian tourists paid a very high price for breaking the American law which bans sex with porcupines. Staying in Florida on vacation, two Russians from Saint Petersburg decided to check whether they are able to circumvent such an unusual law or not. Consequences appeared to be very sad. The poor fellows had to take needles from their genitals and treat inflammation for several months. Having arrived in the USA, the Russians were given the book about the craziest American laws. For example, in Colombia sex - other than in a missionary position - is forbidden; in Kentucky it is forbidden to bring a lion to a movie theater; in Florida it is strictly forbidden to have sex with porcupines! As it is known, forbidden fruit is always sweet, especially for Russians. Doctors at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center made the following diagnosis: 'needles of a porcupine in genitals'. At first 32-year-old Anton and 30-year-old Eugenie had a good laugh at the senseless law written by local authorities. And then, after helping themselves with whisky, they decided to break this funny law. “We came here to the USA to have fun!” said Anton and the two friends started their searches for the so called American "hedgehog". It took them less than an hour to find the animal. With victorious shouts the drunken friends dropped their pants and started making unambiguous movements with their hips. Having sobered up the following morning the friends realized that they need medical help. So the animal-lovers had to go from the airport straight to hospital, Life.Ru reports. Doctors of well-known medical center Cedars-Sinai diagnosed the case as ‘needles of a porcupine in genitals’. “The most positive thing about the situation is that the Russian tourists did not have to stand trial in Florida. They left the state just in time,” said the doctors at the medical center. Now American laws do not seem so funny to Anton and Eugenie. After returning to Moscow they had to get acquainted with Russian urologists: porcupine needles caused very strong inflammation. http://english.pravda.ru/society/storie ... ine_sex-0/HOLY CRAP! 
_________________ I am not rich, but I know how to die without regrets.
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| Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:45 pm |
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Justin
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 2:06 am Posts: 4841 Location: NH
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Kevin,
How in the world did they find a porcupine in Florida, let alone in a hour? I'm pretty sure porcupines are not native to Florida ...
Justin .
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| Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:50 am |
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Brian Capers
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:19 pm Posts: 568 Location: East Lothian
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Prickled pickled pricks! 
_________________ 'Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.' Don Marquis
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| Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:13 am |
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kevin loMOTTimized zombie
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm Posts: 1933 Location: Californuts
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Justin,
I have no idea how where they were or how they found a porcupine so quickly. If I had to guess they were in the north central part of Florida where some forest land is located.
Never underestimate the power of a determined drunk; they can accomplish the unbelievable. Aside from being stupid, drunk, and hard-up they knowing engaged in beastality which is illegal in just about every country on the planet, search for a law they could intentionally break, and full knowledge and consent broke the law that specifically said "sex between humans and porcupines is illegal, fled from prosecution in Florida and returned home to Russia. And god knows what other laws they broke.
How stupid can people be or get?
_________________ I am not rich, but I know how to die without regrets.
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:43 am |
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Justin
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 2:06 am Posts: 4841 Location: NH
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
... and why would "the doctors" at a hospital comment publicly about the medical history of a patient?
An entertaining story, but call me a skeptic because I just don't buy that it really happened.
Justin .
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:14 am |
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mudlark
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 6:46 am Posts: 3317 Location: South UK
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
When I click on the link all I get is the message "bad gateway".
I don't know why, but the story reminds me of the "prick with a fork" advice that was said to have appeared beside a picture of celebrity chef Ainsley Harriott on a product he endorsed.
_________________ Who gave these millionare politicians the right to dismantle public services?
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| Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:37 am |
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kevin loMOTTimized zombie
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm Posts: 1933 Location: Californuts
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
I was reading about the 10 most unusual laws on the books in the country. Each law had an interesting comment how the law came about and a link to a story about it being broken. I think its funny as hell true or not. The link is for a Russian/English publication. I think the entire article is on MSM.com. However, never underestimate the determination of a drunk idiot.
_________________ I am not rich, but I know how to die without regrets.
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| Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:39 pm |
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Mick_McKenzie
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:23 am Posts: 9229 Location: Stockport, the centre of the universe
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Thank you sir. I don't get many compliments these days. Mick
_________________ Here's to Mulberry Jane
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| Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:07 pm |
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rgw
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:38 pm Posts: 16908 Location: 3 hours from the centre of the Universe
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
_________________ And it's here I see pictures and my madness is clear.....................
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| Mon Apr 16, 2012 11:16 pm |
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Thunderclap
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2006 10:40 am Posts: 2369 Location: North East England
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
I wonder how this woman and her 'common law' gets on Watch and be amazed !
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| Sat May 05, 2012 7:01 pm |
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grastark
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 7:26 am Posts: 17664 Location: My Mind's Gone
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
where is Brian (CR) when you (well - the woman) need him?
G
_________________ I Still Love Rock And Roll
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| Sat May 05, 2012 8:55 pm |
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kevin loMOTTimized zombie
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm Posts: 1933 Location: Californuts
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
Woman jailed for testicle attack A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard. She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours." Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years. 'Pulled hard' Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence. The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year. The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house. An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them. In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard". He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain." The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it. She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ. In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done. She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person." The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4253849.stmVery few people are charged and convicted of Mayhem anymore.
_________________ I am not rich, but I know how to die without regrets.
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| Sat May 05, 2012 9:36 pm |
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rick a.
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 1:04 am Posts: 13883 Location: bahston
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
I'm confused. Was everyone at Mr Jones's house in their underwear? I'm not going to check but is it possible to pull off a nut with your bare hands?
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| Sun May 06, 2012 4:19 pm |
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Jelly9666
Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:17 am Posts: 390
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 Re: i fought the law and the law........ (Part 2)
No. There is another report of this old (the de-nutting was 8 years ago this month, the subsequent trial in January 2005) story at The Guardian's website - basically " Monti told Mr Jones she wanted to discuss their relationship and offered him sex. When he refused, she grabbed his face and a struggle ensued. Mr Jones threw Monti out of the house. She then smashed a window. Another struggle took place and Monti was knocked to the floor, from where she pulled down Mr Jones's shorts. " (In this context, "shorts" would be short-legged trousers, an outergarment, rather than the American meaning of underwear. So, having yanked down his outerwear she then presumably reached inside his underwear, grabbed and pulled...) I imagine if you grab tight enough and pull hard enough. No doubt aided by the hand doing the grabbing having sharp fingernails, perforating the skin; makes it a bit like "tear along the dotted line"...
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| Sun May 06, 2012 8:51 pm |
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